Because he's new-new

Nu-Nu

2oz Nuvo

1oz Hypnotiq

2oz Diet Lemon Lime Soda

Lemon wheel

Mix all ingredients in a hurricane glass over ice. Garnish with the lemon wheel. Stir gently and enjoy!

And then there was him.


Remember the New Guy?  Well he's still around, but he's sort of taken a back seat.  I still like him and we still go out occasionally, but he actually tried to throw a test at me. ME!  I don't know if I ever told you guys how young he was, but he's pretty young so when he tried to actually test me, he got his feelings hurt.

One fine fine *ahem* post coital morning, we were laying around his place when we realized how late he was going to be for work due to all of the *ahem* coitus.  I had my dance class on his side of town (ironically it's the neighborhood that I currently live in) and his job was on my side of town, so I was going to hang out at his house until my class started.    Because he was running late, he wanted me to iron his pants while he showered...
But that's not what he asked.
Instead of saying 

"Hey Alice, after all of that sweet sweet lovin' could you do me a solid and iron my pants while I wash my sweaty, sexy, musky manhood?"

 He said

"I sure wish there were two of me so that I can shower and iron at the same time..."

 I'm a grown ass woman dog. I ain't fittin' to call no man Delicious Just come out and say what you want.  I'm from Philly and we don't do subtle.  So when I didn't jump off of the couch and grab the iron, I could literally see our relationship shifting into a slow, but steady downward spiral.

So he's still around, but I certainly am not holding my breath for a chance to press his pants.  Particularly when I've been getting *ahem* pressed by someone new. Nu-Nu. (by the by, if you haven't figured it out by now, when I say *ahem* I'm about to talk about sex.)

I met Nu-Nu at a club of all places.  I had gone to see Anthony David sing some songs that I know and some that I did not, and I ran into a guy that I had met there a few weeks before.  I was half hanging out by myself and half with the other guy when the DJ started playing some music I wasn't familiar with.  People seemed to really be enjoying themselves (including other guy), but hell they go crazy over Too $hort here, so I stopped trying to figure out music in this city.  So I'm standing there a little awkward like when I spied with my little eye this gigantic being noticing me, noticing him.  He gave me the "I don't know what they hell they're playing either" look and that was all she wrote.

Well, not really because I have more to say.  So without getting into a play by play, the evening ended well (no not that well sluts). Barring work and other unavoidable instances, we've been pretty inseparable and things have eventually gone that well. Hubba hubba.

He's built just like I like them - a big ol' hunk of man. 6'4", makes me feel tiny when I stand next to him and when we *ahem* he likes to pick me up and toss me around and... well you get my drift. And we've been doing okay.  It's too soon to count all my chickens, but I actually like this one enough to give him a name. Nu-Nu.

Get it? Got it? Good.

Down the Rabbit Hole

Open House

1 1/2 cup Southern Comfort

4 oz lemon juice

4 oz sweetened lime juice

4 oz orange juice

8 oz lemon lime soda

Fill a large glass pitcher with ice and combine all ingredients. Stir gently. Float lemon, lime and orange wedges for garnish.  Although the recipe serves 4, feel free to drink someone else's serving.  I won't tell.

Ohhh you little pumpkins, how I love you so!  Because I promised that you'd get some photos or video, I totally created a video montage in Pica.sa (now known to me as picASSa) and just as soon as I hit create, it totally lost all of my work.  So I went over to another site and created one all over again.

Because I love you.  And I'll hold this over your heads later when I want something from one of you.


Now, before I invite you all into my home, I wanted to make note of the gift registry.  What? You didn't think I wanted something for all of my hard work?  Well think again.

Registry: 

1) Buy

2) Me

3) Stuff


Now that you're done that, Come on Down the Rabbit Hole

Right "Thur"

Midwestern Twang

3 oz whiskey

1 tsp Tang

3 oz Sprite (any lemon lime soda will do.  Yes soda, not "pop")

Garnish - Maraschino cherries or orange wheel.  If you're feeling randy, do both

Mix whiskey and Tang in a cocktail shaker over ice.  Shake with reckless abandonment, but make sure the top is on.  Strain into an old fashioned glass while pouring in the soda simultaneously. Garnish with two cherries or orange.

Enjoy!

I think that I'm officially between accents.  This is a big friggin' deal.  You see people from Philadelphia sound unique - specifically women from Philly.  I admit that thanks to a college education and traveling these United States, I don't didn't sound exactly like Eve in Barbershop, but I definitely sounded like I'm from the Midatlantic.  So why did I catch myself saying that something was right over "hurr" [READ: here]?

I'm fittin' to be scared...

In other news, remember how my home slice President Obama is totally my neighbor? Well someone needs to tell him and Michelle that they only have until the end of the month to bring me my muffin basket because you guessed it kids - I'm moving.  And now for the FAQ's:

Q. Why are you moving from such an awesome neighborhood?

A. Well my dears, why I am happy to be gainfully employed, a bitch makes about 23 grand less than I anticipated making when I first moved to this beautiful condo, and while I can still afford it, I don't have the comfortable cushion that I'm used to.

Q. So couldn't you just get another gig? Even like a part-time one?

A. Could I? Yes. Would I? No. I'm busy babes. Besides, now that I know the city a bit better, I found an equally awesome apartment in Humboldt Park that I will totally rock. (yes, I still have exposed brick!)

Q. Hey! Whatever happened to that virtual housewarming you promised us?

A. What can I say? I'm a bit of a flake, but I tell ya what - I PROMISE that sometime within the next 7 days I will either post a video or a picture collage of my soon to be old dwelling.  Sometime down the line a peek into the new place will follow. Deal?

Other questions? Bring 'em on!

The Last Mojican Mojito

2oz spiced rum

1 oz sweetened lime juice

1 oz sour mix

3 oz lemon lime seltzer

1 lime wedge

3 sprigs of fresh mint

In a cocktail shaker add a few ice cubes, mint, lime wedge and sour mix.  Muddle the mixture for 1 full minute.  Add lime juice and rum then shake it like you're in a Pit Bull/ Ying Yang Twins video.  Remove the shaker top and in a tall collins glass, pour the contents of the shaker and the seltzer simultaneously.  Stick a straw in it and enjoy!

I woke up crying this morning.  Sobbing.

I dreamed that I was in some sort of parade with all of my closest girlfriends from different phases in my life - my best friend from childhood who I've known since we were 5 years old, my good good girlfriends from high school and my closest friends from college and my current life.  We were doing a dance number and every time we turned in unison and I had to face a different one, they were pregnant and/or flashing an engagement ring.  And I began to cry.  And then I woke up.

I suppose the apex of the way that I feel could be the text I received yesterday from a friend's mom asking for my address so that she could send me a baby shower invitation.  This is the friend who is a new, but fairly successful actress and who I thought didn't want children until she was more established in her career.  Granted she and her husband have been married for about 4 years and we're all not getting any younger, but I guess I thought that she would be the last of the baby-less Mojicans.

Did I mention that in 2010 5 of my friends got married, 4 had babies and 2 got engaged.  That doesn't include all of the "my life is better than your life" updates from facebook associates.  Just great.  But let me be clear - no one and I mean NO ONE is happier for them than I.  I have been blessed with having amazing sister friends in my life and they all deserve the love and joy that they are experiencing.  But I'd be lying if it didn't sting a bit, just because my life still feels so unfulfilled.

****Mid-post update****

I actually started this post on January 28th and I'm not sure why I never got around to finishing it, but no bullshit, since then 2 of my CLOSEST sister friends called to tell me that they too were pregnant...

*Le sigh*

Again, I am ECSTATIC for them. I even actually have accepted the role of godmother for one (and I take that shit seriously.  I have always declined in the past, so this is actually my first godbaby and I am super emotional).  But I contend that this still makes me a little sad.  Granted I spent the majority of my adult years thinking that kids were just a bunch of annoyingly loud and inexplicably sticky short people, - and they are -  but when I started being honest with myself I realized that I want little more than to have a healthy relationship and children of my own.

So here I sit - one of the last of the Mojicans, cringing just a little bit every time the phone rings.

Princess Charming

The Big Appletini

2oz Red Apple & Ginger vodka [just buy the damn Absolut Brooklyn]
1oz Sour Apple Pucker
1oz apple juice
Maraschino cherries
Candied ginger

Mix the vodka, pucker and apple juice in a cocktail shaker over ice.  Shake it like you're shaking your head wondering how in the hay nay Spike Lee is endorsing vodka - Absolut at that - even if it is super yummy.

Place a piece of candied ginger in the bottom of a chilled martini glass and strain mixture into the glass.  Drop in maraschino cherry and enjoy!

Remember where we last left off? Recently re-employed and all that jazz?  Well I still am, and I'm pretty satisfied with my choice.  So why am I sitting in the Orlando airport rather than at work today?  Because although I was a broke bitch, I'm still fancy, so I went on a pre-planned vacation to Miami, cruise to Mexico and quick weekend in Disney World.  And I suppose I chose a great time to go because the Midwest got hit by a term that I'm incorporating into my vocabulary - lake effect snow.  So much so that my flight and about 1300 other flights to Chicago were cancelled and I had to stay in Orlando another night.

And such is my charmed life.  Charmed not because the only way to access my checked luggage was to choose to drag it around with me for 27 hours.  Charmed not because in that checked luggage are my clothes, toiletries, makeup and duty-free vodka that I certainly could have used last night.  Charmed not because although I'm used to staying at the Omni, I was at a $59/night hotel near the airport.  Charmed not because I miss my bed and the reality shows on my DVR.  But I do indeed live a charmed life.

I am blessed enough to be able to go on a 3-part trip in and out of the country when I was collecting unemployment not even 1 month ago.  I am blessed to get to spend each part of my trip with good friends - some I haven't seen in years.  I am blessed to have the option of not sleeping in an uncomfortable airport lounge and be in a comfortable and private hotel room (where they had free breakfast and Internet woo-hoo). I am blessed that I travel enough to have a gang of free drink coupons that I will be cashing in when we reach 15000 feet.

I live an amazing, charmed life.  And if I complained I wouldn't seem grateful.