This ain't the love boat (yet?)

Isaac & Coke

2oz honey whiskey
diet cola

Pour both ingredients over cracked ice into a Collins glass and stir lightly.  Enjoy!

So I met a guy.

I wasn't looking - hell for that matter I was taking a break from it all because of all of the foolishness with Brady.  But they always say that when you're not looking...

His name is Isaac and I like him. A lot.  Like I'm all giddy and shit.  Remember folks, I'm thirty-mumble-mumble years old.  My giddy days are long gone, yet I find myself smiling each and every time his name appears next to the little android image on my phone.  It's still very new, but he's sorta like my dude.  There are implied dates and we find ourselves discussing plans throughout the rest of the year and the holidays.  Last night's discussion was about what we're going to be for Halloween. A man who is comfortable enough in his manhood to get all silly and dress up just to make me happy. I heart that shit.

He's a bit younger than me, but mature in ways that I would never imagine.  And if you're even thinking about calling me a cougar, I'll totally kick your ass :-) He's not that young, but young enough that we have different memories of the Cosby Show (which is a HUGE deal to me), but when I say "all your base are belong to us" he knows what I'm talking about and falls for me just a little bit more.

He's got to step up his drinking game if he's gonna roll with the kid (his only drink of choice was Jack & Coke and thankfully I was able to turn him on to Evans Honey Whiskey) but I'll definitely work on that with him. Because mama likes her drinks...

Anyway, I just feel crazy amounts of comfortable with him.  I don't want to jinx it (I almost didn't write about it), but  I'm just going to let go and see where ride takes me.

Sabina Rose

****The bar is closed today****

I never met Sabina Rose O’Donnell. Sure I’ve had my fair share of drunken milkshakes at PYT, but I don’t think that she was ever my server. Yet I have been crying a lot since I read about her brutal murder. I cry not because I knew her. But because I am her.

Sabina was beaten, raped, strangled and robbed outside of her home as she travelled from a friend’s house just 4 blocks away one late night. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve taken a similar path. Walking home after the bar because it was a beautiful night and I was a little tipsy, so my feet didn’t realize that they hurt. Trying to avoid the walk of shame in the AM by sneaking out and walking home at 3 instead of when the sun made an appearance. Opting to take the bus or walk because I didn’t want to be a burden to my driving friends (although I know that they have never minded taking me home). Hell, even a week before her death while on travel for work I tried to walk back to my hotel after seeing a midnight movie, until the front desk woman refused to let me and made me promise to call for security to pick me up after my 2 ½ hour movie was over.

It’s not that I thought that the world was necessarily safe, but I think that I have become boastfully prideful. And I’m not alone. Most of my girlfriends are the same way. We’re die hard city girls. Tough as nails and fiercely independent. We have men around because we want them, not because we need them. We can take care of ourselves financially and physically and would never want people to think otherwise. My move to Chicago is a prime example. Here I am in this big city completely alone. When I go out, I’m going alone and before last week, I didn’t think twice about it. “I got me” is what I’ve been telling anyone who inquired about my safety. Sheeiiiit, I’m grown. Right?

But what I and so many women haven’t been realizing is that being “grown” is about being responsible and we need to start by being responsible for our own safety. Meaning that we create and use our support system. Your circle isn’t only there to rally around you when some dude has done you dirty, but to keep you safe.

So, just like Oprah asked everyone to pledge to refrain from using cell phones in the car, I’d like to ask my girlfriends to pledge to create a safety circle of at least 2 friends and to always use it. Have back-ups in case the first two are unavailable and do the following:

-Leaving anywhere late at night, have someone you trust walk you to your car. If you’re heading to a bus/train ask them to stand with you until it comes. One day I’d like to see establishments offer courtesy escort services to female patrons. Until that day, ask for one.

-When dropping a friend off at their door, DO NOT PULL OFF until they are inside of the house. After you drop the last person off, use your hands free device and stay on the phone with someone until you get to your destination.

-If you’re on a bike, use a hands free device and stay on the phone with someone until you get inside.

-Stop promising to text when you get in and forget because you fell asleep. Always text the people you were with to let them know that you’re home safe. If someone was supposed to text you and the time for them to be at their destination as passed – call to make sure that they’re safe.

-Even if you’re in a cab (and I know we’ve all been in some cabs with drivers who are too forward and/or just give you the skeeves) text someone the name of the cab company, the driver’s ID number (their ID should always be displayed) and a description of the driver.

-Finally, offer up your couch, spare bedroom, half of your bed or creatively layered blankets and a spot on the floor to your late night visitors. If they turn down the offer – insist until they promise to stay or to do one of the above.

There are always going to be monsters out there, but let’s make it harder on them. This isn’t about being paranoid or a damsel in distress. It’s about being safe and responsible.

Sheeiiiit, we’re grown.

Right?