Octopussy

007

3oz gin

1oz vodka

1/2oz lillet (I know that Jimmy requests Kina lillet, but they don't make that brand anymore)

Lemon peel for garnish

Fill a martini glass with ice and water and sit it in the freezer while you make this drink.  Mix gin, vodka and lillet over crushed ice in a cocktail shaker and shake it like you've got Parkinson's (hey I never said that these were politically correct recipes).  Remove glass from the freezer and dump the ice and water from the glass.  Fill the chilled glass with the martini mixture and garnish with the twist of lemon. Sip slowly and enjoy!

So do you remember that episode of SATC where Miranda stayed over at her date's house and he left her there while he went to work? And remember how she found his preference for being spanked?  Or do you remember that episode where Carrie's date left her in his apartment while he ran out and she got caught riffling through his belongings (and subsequently got caught trying to break into a box of scout badges)? You may or may not remember those episodes, but I do.

So as I'm sitting here in the New Guy's apartment while he's at work, I'm not really having trouble fighting the urge to snoop.  And that's saying a lot because I'm usually a nosy broad.

Last night was wonderful. We just chilled and watched a movie and sort of veged out. I'm finding it increasingly easy to be around him, but my heart still goes a flutter when he touches me. (Damn he's sexy!). He lives on the West side and I live on the South side. On Sundays he works on the Southside and I have a dance class on the West side.  He has to be at work before my class starts, but he suggested that I just chill at his place until my class started.

So here I am. NOT going through drawers and closets, NOT peeking at opened mail and NOT checking the bathroom trash for pre-Alice condoms.  Because when you go looking for some foolishness, you'll probably find it, or drive yourself crazy in the process.

And lawd knows that my particular brand of crazy doesn't need a cheering squad. Besides if he's into being spanked, I'd rather find out in bed than by poking around under his bed.

Somebody get me a stick!

Golden Shower

1 oz vodka
1 oz mango margarita mix
1 tbsp of fresh squeezed lemon juice
ginger ale

Put 2 ice cubes in an old fashioned glass and fill 1/4 of the way with ginger ale.  Place the glass in the freezer while you mix the rest of the ingredients.  Combine the vodka, margarita mix and lemon juice in a cocktail shaker over ice and shake.  Remove the glass from the freezer and pour mixture over the ginger ale and ice.  Enjoy!


A friend of mine always seems to be amazed by my ability to meet men.  I'm not particularly flirtatious, but I guess I'm always in the right place at the right time...

Right? Well, not exactly.

You see I never have a problem meeting men in general, because I get hit on a lot. BUT most of the men that hit on me are not exactly a catch.  Let's take Nurin who tried his best to charm me on Sunday.  On Sundays I take a dance class on the west side of the city.  It's a beginner's class and I often affectionately refer to it as complete and utter torture as the instructor requires lots and LOTS of energy.  Sometimes I also call it the reason I get to eat cookies on Sunday nights.  Anyway, so I take mass transit to the class and on this particular day I was waiting for the bus and this guy, later identified as Nurin, struck up a conversation with me.  As we were talking, I did a head to two scan and couldn't help but notice that he was clutching a slightly mangled brown paper bag that was twisted around something with a very high alcohol content.  That coupled with his very Easy E-like hairstyle pretty much sealed his fate in my future.  But he was chatty and the bus was late.

Between sips Nurin inquired about my "accent".  Apparently not possessing a bit of a country twang is a dead giveaway that you're not a native Chicagoan.  I told him that I was from Philly and he asked what kind of stuff people in Philly like to do.

"Not really any different from here.  You know, go out, movies, sports, etc..."

My answer seemed suitable for him, and then Nurin decided to share his interests with me:

"Yeah... I'm into some of that stuff too.  Well I don't really go out like that, but you know I like to go to movies, have a drink or two [CLEARLY]... and I also like golden showers.  Do you like golden showers?"  

WOW. And this was minute 4 of our conversation. Needless to say, when pee-boy suggested that I hand him my phone so that he could program his number I emphatically declined.

So meeting men - not a problem.  Keeping them from desiring my urine - problem.

Being single sucks.

Dodge Balls

Dodge Ball

1 oz citrus rum
1 oz citrus vodka
1 oz triple sec
fruit punch
lemon flavored seltzer

Mix the rum, vodka and triple sec in a shaker over ice and fill with fruit punch. Shake it like you'd shake a dude who out of nowhere told you that "he's just not that into you". Yeah...hard.

Pour concoction simultaneously with the seltzer into a chilled Collins glass.  Garnish with cherries and citrus slices and down it like it's going out of style.

My my my, the dead has arisen...

I suppose it's been quite sometime since I've been at the bar and I'm sure some of you are thirsty.  After being called out by folks who shall remain nameless *ahem*, I realized that I'm long overdue for a drank.  I guess time flies when you're getting dumped and fired.

whaaaat???? Yup.

I guess I *bleeped* it up.  Well not really.  Apparently Isaac decided while we just chilling watching a movie one weekend, that he just wasn't that into me. No arguing, no dutch ovens, no rhyme nor reason, but he "didn't know if he actually liked me, or if he just liked the attention from me". I helped him decide that it was the latter, and that was that.

*Kanye shrug*

Was I upset? Not really.  I mean I as very clear about how I felt about him, but I'm certainly not fixin' [dontcha' love my new Midwestern slang???] to keep anyone who doesn't want to be kept.  So that's that.

Now if you know like I know, attention from the male species has never been my Achilles heel, and of course there's a new boy in the picture.  But, before I get all geeked up again, let's see if we can get past the probationary period.

Speaking of probationary periods...
Alice got das boot!  So if you remember correctly I started working for a company as a National Director, overseeing a handful of departments across the country. The job turned out to be 100% travel and sort of the antithesis of my Chicago experience.  But it paid the bills.  Well it did until last Friday when while on travel in Ohio, my boss called me and told me that he didn't think that it was a "good fit". Of course there's more to it and all of that, but this was a blessing.  I was constantly travelling to cities where the men are men and the sheep are scared.  Not fun.  Also, expense reimbursements came with the frequency of Haley's Comet.  I hated the job, and I strongly believe that God placed me there for a reason (thanks to the tons of frequent flyer miles and hotel stays, my trip to Philly for Christmas was free and is totally booked already), and now I can collect unemployment while I find a new CHICAGO-based job.  [by the by, did y'all know how little they give you in unemployment? I'm at the cap and I'm sure I'll still need to work a red light district if I have to do this long term].

So that's what's been up with me.  Life has thrown a few dodge balls my way, but I know that I'll navigate around them pretty well.  I used to kick ass in dodge ball as a kid, so why should it change now?

Heads up.