Octopussy

007

3oz gin

1oz vodka

1/2oz lillet (I know that Jimmy requests Kina lillet, but they don't make that brand anymore)

Lemon peel for garnish

Fill a martini glass with ice and water and sit it in the freezer while you make this drink.  Mix gin, vodka and lillet over crushed ice in a cocktail shaker and shake it like you've got Parkinson's (hey I never said that these were politically correct recipes).  Remove glass from the freezer and dump the ice and water from the glass.  Fill the chilled glass with the martini mixture and garnish with the twist of lemon. Sip slowly and enjoy!

So do you remember that episode of SATC where Miranda stayed over at her date's house and he left her there while he went to work? And remember how she found his preference for being spanked?  Or do you remember that episode where Carrie's date left her in his apartment while he ran out and she got caught riffling through his belongings (and subsequently got caught trying to break into a box of scout badges)? You may or may not remember those episodes, but I do.

So as I'm sitting here in the New Guy's apartment while he's at work, I'm not really having trouble fighting the urge to snoop.  And that's saying a lot because I'm usually a nosy broad.

Last night was wonderful. We just chilled and watched a movie and sort of veged out. I'm finding it increasingly easy to be around him, but my heart still goes a flutter when he touches me. (Damn he's sexy!). He lives on the West side and I live on the South side. On Sundays he works on the Southside and I have a dance class on the West side.  He has to be at work before my class starts, but he suggested that I just chill at his place until my class started.

So here I am. NOT going through drawers and closets, NOT peeking at opened mail and NOT checking the bathroom trash for pre-Alice condoms.  Because when you go looking for some foolishness, you'll probably find it, or drive yourself crazy in the process.

And lawd knows that my particular brand of crazy doesn't need a cheering squad. Besides if he's into being spanked, I'd rather find out in bed than by poking around under his bed.

Are you crying? Are you crying? ARE YOU CRYING? There's no crying! THERE'S NO CRYING IN...

Cucumber Collins

~3 slices of cucumber (about a 1/4 inch thick). You can leave the skins on or off, totally up to you

~1 shot of simple syrup

~2 lime wedges + 1 tablespoon of Rose's Sweetened Lime Juice (you can leave out the Rose's. I like my drinks a bit sweeter)

~2 shots of gin

club soda

In a cocktail shaker, muddle the cucumber, limes, lime juice and simple syrup

Add gin and shake whatcha mama gave ya

Pour over ice into a large collins glass

Fill with club soda

Garnish with a slice of cucumber and/or lime and drink with a straw

Repeat.

I like my job a lot (it's not bartending or anything related, but I do believe that a few of my coworkers have "liquid lunches"). So yeah, I'm one of those people who actually loves what she does for a living and feels satisfied with the direction of her professional career. That being said...

A few weeks ago I apparently made a coworker cry. Actual tears. Like the salty wet ones that fall from your face when cut onions.

What the fuck?

It's a long drawn out story, but the bottom line was that she was stressed out, and I was the last person she tried to give shit to before her meltdown. I was ridiculously patronizing and condescending to her and it upset her even more. Then I found a very professional way to tell her to go fuck herself, and she pretty much threw a temper tantrum and ran off to a corner crying. When someone asked her what was wrong, all she could mutter through the sobs was "Alice..."

I personally think it's hilarious. Is it funny to make people cry? Well, sort of, but that's not the point. It's hilarious because we're at WORK. What the hell are you so emotional about at WORK? We're not dating, so suck it up, get the job done and call me a bitch behind my back like everyone else does.

I don't aim to be mean to people, but there are a few things that sort of "unleash the beast". But it's the same people that everyone hate, like stupid people, weak people and women who cover their entire eyelid with one color of eyeshadow (I'm talking lash to brow with no variation. Blasphemous!).

Am I working on my patience? Absolutely. That's what the drinking is for.