Princess Charming

The Big Appletini

2oz Red Apple & Ginger vodka [just buy the damn Absolut Brooklyn]
1oz Sour Apple Pucker
1oz apple juice
Maraschino cherries
Candied ginger

Mix the vodka, pucker and apple juice in a cocktail shaker over ice.  Shake it like you're shaking your head wondering how in the hay nay Spike Lee is endorsing vodka - Absolut at that - even if it is super yummy.

Place a piece of candied ginger in the bottom of a chilled martini glass and strain mixture into the glass.  Drop in maraschino cherry and enjoy!

Remember where we last left off? Recently re-employed and all that jazz?  Well I still am, and I'm pretty satisfied with my choice.  So why am I sitting in the Orlando airport rather than at work today?  Because although I was a broke bitch, I'm still fancy, so I went on a pre-planned vacation to Miami, cruise to Mexico and quick weekend in Disney World.  And I suppose I chose a great time to go because the Midwest got hit by a term that I'm incorporating into my vocabulary - lake effect snow.  So much so that my flight and about 1300 other flights to Chicago were cancelled and I had to stay in Orlando another night.

And such is my charmed life.  Charmed not because the only way to access my checked luggage was to choose to drag it around with me for 27 hours.  Charmed not because in that checked luggage are my clothes, toiletries, makeup and duty-free vodka that I certainly could have used last night.  Charmed not because although I'm used to staying at the Omni, I was at a $59/night hotel near the airport.  Charmed not because I miss my bed and the reality shows on my DVR.  But I do indeed live a charmed life.

I am blessed enough to be able to go on a 3-part trip in and out of the country when I was collecting unemployment not even 1 month ago.  I am blessed to get to spend each part of my trip with good friends - some I haven't seen in years.  I am blessed to have the option of not sleeping in an uncomfortable airport lounge and be in a comfortable and private hotel room (where they had free breakfast and Internet woo-hoo). I am blessed that I travel enough to have a gang of free drink coupons that I will be cashing in when we reach 15000 feet.

I live an amazing, charmed life.  And if I complained I wouldn't seem grateful.

suits and resumes and thank you cards oh my!

Prom Juice


1 oz dark rum
1 oz honey brandy
2 oz guanabana nectar
1 oz cranberry juice
1 tsp fresh squeezed lime juice
3 frozen cranberries


Mix ice and all ingredients into a cocktail shaker and shake it like a screaming baby [seriously folks, don't ever shake babies. It's not cool.  Pinch them slightly under the arm...]
Strain into a chilled martini glass and float the frozen cranberries.


Enjoy!


So guess who feels like the popular girl at the prom?  No, I didn't get asked to chaperon a high school dance, but I did happen to get two job offers today.

Say what?

I haven't been updating not because I've been busy - hell I don't didn't have a job, but because in addition to interviewing, I've been working on some other projects that I'll be excited to reveal in the coming months [be patient my precious] AND ironically, I've also been shopping.  I'm completely addicted to Groupon and Sugar Mama has already had to text me out of unplanned and un-budgeted Target purchases, but thankfully that being responsible and spending wisely foolishness will soon come to an end because I have a new job!

Once I formally accept it, that is.

I was leaving one location today where they had just offered me the job and I explained that I wanted to sleep on it before I accepted when my phone rang and it was location #2 also offering me a position.  Both are awesome and the pay is somewhat comparable, so I'd like to think about it a little more before I make a final decision.  I'm pretty sure which one I'm going to go with, but it's great to know that not only 1, but 2 places think that I'm the bees knees.

And I'm inclined to agree :-)

Octopussy

007

3oz gin

1oz vodka

1/2oz lillet (I know that Jimmy requests Kina lillet, but they don't make that brand anymore)

Lemon peel for garnish

Fill a martini glass with ice and water and sit it in the freezer while you make this drink.  Mix gin, vodka and lillet over crushed ice in a cocktail shaker and shake it like you've got Parkinson's (hey I never said that these were politically correct recipes).  Remove glass from the freezer and dump the ice and water from the glass.  Fill the chilled glass with the martini mixture and garnish with the twist of lemon. Sip slowly and enjoy!

So do you remember that episode of SATC where Miranda stayed over at her date's house and he left her there while he went to work? And remember how she found his preference for being spanked?  Or do you remember that episode where Carrie's date left her in his apartment while he ran out and she got caught riffling through his belongings (and subsequently got caught trying to break into a box of scout badges)? You may or may not remember those episodes, but I do.

So as I'm sitting here in the New Guy's apartment while he's at work, I'm not really having trouble fighting the urge to snoop.  And that's saying a lot because I'm usually a nosy broad.

Last night was wonderful. We just chilled and watched a movie and sort of veged out. I'm finding it increasingly easy to be around him, but my heart still goes a flutter when he touches me. (Damn he's sexy!). He lives on the West side and I live on the South side. On Sundays he works on the Southside and I have a dance class on the West side.  He has to be at work before my class starts, but he suggested that I just chill at his place until my class started.

So here I am. NOT going through drawers and closets, NOT peeking at opened mail and NOT checking the bathroom trash for pre-Alice condoms.  Because when you go looking for some foolishness, you'll probably find it, or drive yourself crazy in the process.

And lawd knows that my particular brand of crazy doesn't need a cheering squad. Besides if he's into being spanked, I'd rather find out in bed than by poking around under his bed.

Somebody get me a stick!

Golden Shower

1 oz vodka
1 oz mango margarita mix
1 tbsp of fresh squeezed lemon juice
ginger ale

Put 2 ice cubes in an old fashioned glass and fill 1/4 of the way with ginger ale.  Place the glass in the freezer while you mix the rest of the ingredients.  Combine the vodka, margarita mix and lemon juice in a cocktail shaker over ice and shake.  Remove the glass from the freezer and pour mixture over the ginger ale and ice.  Enjoy!


A friend of mine always seems to be amazed by my ability to meet men.  I'm not particularly flirtatious, but I guess I'm always in the right place at the right time...

Right? Well, not exactly.

You see I never have a problem meeting men in general, because I get hit on a lot. BUT most of the men that hit on me are not exactly a catch.  Let's take Nurin who tried his best to charm me on Sunday.  On Sundays I take a dance class on the west side of the city.  It's a beginner's class and I often affectionately refer to it as complete and utter torture as the instructor requires lots and LOTS of energy.  Sometimes I also call it the reason I get to eat cookies on Sunday nights.  Anyway, so I take mass transit to the class and on this particular day I was waiting for the bus and this guy, later identified as Nurin, struck up a conversation with me.  As we were talking, I did a head to two scan and couldn't help but notice that he was clutching a slightly mangled brown paper bag that was twisted around something with a very high alcohol content.  That coupled with his very Easy E-like hairstyle pretty much sealed his fate in my future.  But he was chatty and the bus was late.

Between sips Nurin inquired about my "accent".  Apparently not possessing a bit of a country twang is a dead giveaway that you're not a native Chicagoan.  I told him that I was from Philly and he asked what kind of stuff people in Philly like to do.

"Not really any different from here.  You know, go out, movies, sports, etc..."

My answer seemed suitable for him, and then Nurin decided to share his interests with me:

"Yeah... I'm into some of that stuff too.  Well I don't really go out like that, but you know I like to go to movies, have a drink or two [CLEARLY]... and I also like golden showers.  Do you like golden showers?"  

WOW. And this was minute 4 of our conversation. Needless to say, when pee-boy suggested that I hand him my phone so that he could program his number I emphatically declined.

So meeting men - not a problem.  Keeping them from desiring my urine - problem.

Being single sucks.

Dodge Balls

Dodge Ball

1 oz citrus rum
1 oz citrus vodka
1 oz triple sec
fruit punch
lemon flavored seltzer

Mix the rum, vodka and triple sec in a shaker over ice and fill with fruit punch. Shake it like you'd shake a dude who out of nowhere told you that "he's just not that into you". Yeah...hard.

Pour concoction simultaneously with the seltzer into a chilled Collins glass.  Garnish with cherries and citrus slices and down it like it's going out of style.

My my my, the dead has arisen...

I suppose it's been quite sometime since I've been at the bar and I'm sure some of you are thirsty.  After being called out by folks who shall remain nameless *ahem*, I realized that I'm long overdue for a drank.  I guess time flies when you're getting dumped and fired.

whaaaat???? Yup.

I guess I *bleeped* it up.  Well not really.  Apparently Isaac decided while we just chilling watching a movie one weekend, that he just wasn't that into me. No arguing, no dutch ovens, no rhyme nor reason, but he "didn't know if he actually liked me, or if he just liked the attention from me". I helped him decide that it was the latter, and that was that.

*Kanye shrug*

Was I upset? Not really.  I mean I as very clear about how I felt about him, but I'm certainly not fixin' [dontcha' love my new Midwestern slang???] to keep anyone who doesn't want to be kept.  So that's that.

Now if you know like I know, attention from the male species has never been my Achilles heel, and of course there's a new boy in the picture.  But, before I get all geeked up again, let's see if we can get past the probationary period.

Speaking of probationary periods...
Alice got das boot!  So if you remember correctly I started working for a company as a National Director, overseeing a handful of departments across the country. The job turned out to be 100% travel and sort of the antithesis of my Chicago experience.  But it paid the bills.  Well it did until last Friday when while on travel in Ohio, my boss called me and told me that he didn't think that it was a "good fit". Of course there's more to it and all of that, but this was a blessing.  I was constantly travelling to cities where the men are men and the sheep are scared.  Not fun.  Also, expense reimbursements came with the frequency of Haley's Comet.  I hated the job, and I strongly believe that God placed me there for a reason (thanks to the tons of frequent flyer miles and hotel stays, my trip to Philly for Christmas was free and is totally booked already), and now I can collect unemployment while I find a new CHICAGO-based job.  [by the by, did y'all know how little they give you in unemployment? I'm at the cap and I'm sure I'll still need to work a red light district if I have to do this long term].

So that's what's been up with me.  Life has thrown a few dodge balls my way, but I know that I'll navigate around them pretty well.  I used to kick ass in dodge ball as a kid, so why should it change now?

Heads up.

Let's hope that I don't *bleep* it up

Punch Drunk Love (made for 2)


2 oz strawberry daquiri mix
1 oz grain alcohol
2 oz white rum
2 oz cranberry juice
1 oz sweetened lime juice
Maraschino cherries


Mix grain alcohol, rum and lime juice in a cocktail shaker over ice and shake it like it owes you money.  Add cranberry juice and daquiri mix and shake it again (because it may be holding out, who knows?).


Pour the delicious concoction over ice in a hurricane glass.  Garnish with the cherries and enjoy!


Why is it that whenever you cook for a new boyfriend for the first time, almost everything goes wrong? You never flip the omelet just right, your pancakes look a tad too pale and you accidentally overcook the veggie sausages... Ay dios mio!

Oh did I mention that Isaac and I are like official?

Yeah.

It happened a few weeks ago (I tried to write about it, but had some computer issues and unfortunately the post was lost).  I have been travelling for work an extensive amount and seem to always end up on the flights that are delayed, or have to fly through some cataclysmic storm or something.  One particular day I was having an especially trying time at the airport (long lines, late flights, delays, get on the plane, get off the plane, delayed again, yadda yadda yaddda) and Isaac was picking me up from the airport.  My flight was 4 hours behind schedule and landed at 1AM, but Issac was still there waiting for me. He gave me the biggest hug (exactly what I needed) and I just wanted to go home and hit the sheets.  As he loaded my luggage in his trunk, I opened the passenger side door and there was a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting on the seat.

He just stopped at the supermarket and picked up a large bouquet that were a bit mangled from having to had survive being picked over all day.

They were perfect.

See, while I totally am in to flowers and that sweet shit, I only like them on those "just because" occasions.  Don't give me flowers on Valentine's day just because corporate honchos at Hallmark and 1-800 Flowers sent subliminal messages telling you to do so. But giving me flowers because I've had a shitty day or just because it's Tuesday? I fucks with that.

Then on the drive from Midway to my apartment he asked me to be his girlfriend.  All high school and official like.

So just like that, Alice has a boyfriend.

I hope I don't fuck it up.

This ain't the love boat (yet?)

Isaac & Coke

2oz honey whiskey
diet cola

Pour both ingredients over cracked ice into a Collins glass and stir lightly.  Enjoy!

So I met a guy.

I wasn't looking - hell for that matter I was taking a break from it all because of all of the foolishness with Brady.  But they always say that when you're not looking...

His name is Isaac and I like him. A lot.  Like I'm all giddy and shit.  Remember folks, I'm thirty-mumble-mumble years old.  My giddy days are long gone, yet I find myself smiling each and every time his name appears next to the little android image on my phone.  It's still very new, but he's sorta like my dude.  There are implied dates and we find ourselves discussing plans throughout the rest of the year and the holidays.  Last night's discussion was about what we're going to be for Halloween. A man who is comfortable enough in his manhood to get all silly and dress up just to make me happy. I heart that shit.

He's a bit younger than me, but mature in ways that I would never imagine.  And if you're even thinking about calling me a cougar, I'll totally kick your ass :-) He's not that young, but young enough that we have different memories of the Cosby Show (which is a HUGE deal to me), but when I say "all your base are belong to us" he knows what I'm talking about and falls for me just a little bit more.

He's got to step up his drinking game if he's gonna roll with the kid (his only drink of choice was Jack & Coke and thankfully I was able to turn him on to Evans Honey Whiskey) but I'll definitely work on that with him. Because mama likes her drinks...

Anyway, I just feel crazy amounts of comfortable with him.  I don't want to jinx it (I almost didn't write about it), but  I'm just going to let go and see where ride takes me.

Sabina Rose

****The bar is closed today****

I never met Sabina Rose O’Donnell. Sure I’ve had my fair share of drunken milkshakes at PYT, but I don’t think that she was ever my server. Yet I have been crying a lot since I read about her brutal murder. I cry not because I knew her. But because I am her.

Sabina was beaten, raped, strangled and robbed outside of her home as she travelled from a friend’s house just 4 blocks away one late night. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve taken a similar path. Walking home after the bar because it was a beautiful night and I was a little tipsy, so my feet didn’t realize that they hurt. Trying to avoid the walk of shame in the AM by sneaking out and walking home at 3 instead of when the sun made an appearance. Opting to take the bus or walk because I didn’t want to be a burden to my driving friends (although I know that they have never minded taking me home). Hell, even a week before her death while on travel for work I tried to walk back to my hotel after seeing a midnight movie, until the front desk woman refused to let me and made me promise to call for security to pick me up after my 2 ½ hour movie was over.

It’s not that I thought that the world was necessarily safe, but I think that I have become boastfully prideful. And I’m not alone. Most of my girlfriends are the same way. We’re die hard city girls. Tough as nails and fiercely independent. We have men around because we want them, not because we need them. We can take care of ourselves financially and physically and would never want people to think otherwise. My move to Chicago is a prime example. Here I am in this big city completely alone. When I go out, I’m going alone and before last week, I didn’t think twice about it. “I got me” is what I’ve been telling anyone who inquired about my safety. Sheeiiiit, I’m grown. Right?

But what I and so many women haven’t been realizing is that being “grown” is about being responsible and we need to start by being responsible for our own safety. Meaning that we create and use our support system. Your circle isn’t only there to rally around you when some dude has done you dirty, but to keep you safe.

So, just like Oprah asked everyone to pledge to refrain from using cell phones in the car, I’d like to ask my girlfriends to pledge to create a safety circle of at least 2 friends and to always use it. Have back-ups in case the first two are unavailable and do the following:

-Leaving anywhere late at night, have someone you trust walk you to your car. If you’re heading to a bus/train ask them to stand with you until it comes. One day I’d like to see establishments offer courtesy escort services to female patrons. Until that day, ask for one.

-When dropping a friend off at their door, DO NOT PULL OFF until they are inside of the house. After you drop the last person off, use your hands free device and stay on the phone with someone until you get to your destination.

-If you’re on a bike, use a hands free device and stay on the phone with someone until you get inside.

-Stop promising to text when you get in and forget because you fell asleep. Always text the people you were with to let them know that you’re home safe. If someone was supposed to text you and the time for them to be at their destination as passed – call to make sure that they’re safe.

-Even if you’re in a cab (and I know we’ve all been in some cabs with drivers who are too forward and/or just give you the skeeves) text someone the name of the cab company, the driver’s ID number (their ID should always be displayed) and a description of the driver.

-Finally, offer up your couch, spare bedroom, half of your bed or creatively layered blankets and a spot on the floor to your late night visitors. If they turn down the offer – insist until they promise to stay or to do one of the above.

There are always going to be monsters out there, but let’s make it harder on them. This isn’t about being paranoid or a damsel in distress. It’s about being safe and responsible.

Sheeiiiit, we’re grown.

Right?

Boy Talk

Thinker...

2 oz white rum
1 oz blue curacao
2 oz guanabana nectar
1 tbsp sweetened lime juice

Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker over ice (if you haven't noticed by now, 99% of my drinks involve a cocktail shaker) and shake it like you're starring in a Shake Weight commercial.
Pour into a chilled martini glass and garnish with a maraschino cherry.

Sip and think and sip and think...

So I haven' really gotten around to talking about the boys.  Some have a super long and complicated history and frankly, I just haven't had the time (or wanted to give them the energy) of going into detail.  But tonight I received a message from one of them and it got me going.

His name is Brady.  We dated on and off and on and off for 5 years. We have an insanely complicated history that includes pain and heartache and tears.  It also had joy and laughter and (lawd knows) pleasure.  In the end (I say "end" gingerly because who knows when it will ever really end?) we weren't on the same page.  I wanted to settle down and start a family. He did not.  I decided that I couldn't go on any further knowing that I wouldn't be happy with the tumultuous nature of what we had.  It was like he only wanted the things that I wanted when I threatened to take them and me away. 

The Chicago move was made easier by our last year.  I think that I did more crying that year than any other and when I gave him an ultimatum to move forward or move on he called my bluff.  I honestly think that he thought that me relocating was all bullshit. After all, not many people uproot their entire lives and move 750 miles away with no support system and for what seems to be no apparent reason.  It's not like I was going away to school or HAD to move for a job (we all know how that worked out).  But he was wrong. Before I left I refused to see him.  He kept saying that we needed closure. Unbeknownst to him I'd had my closure when I decided to start interviewing and apartment hunting in Illinois.  He would send me text messages and drive by my house testing whether or not I had actually left.  Then one day he drove by and there was a moving truck outside.  I don't think that he knows that I saw him, but I did.  I think of him often.  I was so close to calling him a few days ago just to tell him that I missed him, but I didn't.  It wouldn't have been healthy for me or helpful to what my new reality is.  I'm moving forward with everything in my life and old relationships need not be resurrected.  

Then tonight I got a text message (I set it so that all of his calls go directly to voicemail) and he said that he wants all of the things that I want.  That he was ready to settle down and ready to start a family with me. That the timing was off before, but now it's right.

His timing...

I told him that he was 3 months too late and to have a good night.

And now I'm crying and thinking and writing, and it's 2005 and 2006 and 2007 and 2008 and especially 2009 all over again.

Amber Alert

Amber Alert


2oz Canadian Whisky
1oz Honey Liqueur
1oz Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice
2oz Water


Combine all ingredients into a cocktail shaker and shake it like it stole something.  Pour over cracked ice into a Collins glass. Garnish with a slice of lemon, or if you want to get fancy use one of those honeycomb stick dealies.


Enjoy!


Alice where the hell have you been???


As you can imagine a LOT has happened since the offer came through and I went apartment hunting. I'm in the airport now, so I'll give a condensed version of events.  About a month before I was supposed to start my new job (2.5 weeks before I packed up a moving truck and gave Philly the heave-ho) I was informed that the department that I was to be overseeing was "restructured" and that the position that I was offered "no longer existed".


Who the fu -


What?


Livid does not even describe how I felt. Mind you, I had already placed a non-refundable deposit on my apartment, reserved and paid a deposit on a moving truck and had multiple going away parties.  All that was left was to hand in my resignation, pack up my house and hit the road. Again, I ask... WHAT??


When my anger and resentment subsided, prayer and good effin' friends set in.  I decided that with the emotional support of my friends, the financial support of my savings and the wherewith all to become a Chicagoan, I was going to go anyway.


So that's what I did.  I turned in my resignation, packed up my house and hit the road.  16 hours later (google maps lies terrible and vicious lies) I pulled in front of my building and smiled.


I was home.


Now newly unemployed and ineligible for unemployment benefits, what was I to do? uhh... get a job.  Now granted, I'm in a field that is somewhat particular, so while that doesn't necessarily mean that there are jobs a plenty, it's a small professional circle and I have a pretty good reputation.  So I started interviewing.  And while I interviewed I did some consulting that while not as much as I was used to making, helped me and the cat from surviving off of the same food.


Then nearly two months to the date of my arrival into the windy city I got an offer for an awesome job and I started this week.


So here I am in the airport (my new job requires tons of travel, which I love) on my way home.


To Chicago :-).


It was a little rough, but so worth it.  I finally shut up and put up and I couldn't be happier.

Three Times Dope

Sake Bomb

-1 shot of warm sake

-6 oz of cold domestic beer (I used Coors Light because someone left a case at my house during my last party) 

-chopsticks

Pour beer into a frosted pilsner glass. Set chopsticks parallel across the top of the glass.  Balance the sake in a shot glass on the chopsticks.  Bang on the table until the shot glass falls into the beer and chug.  Don't expect to feel like a lady when you're done.

As you can imagine I have been crazy busy and life has been a complete whirlwind.  I decided on an awesome awesome awesome condo in Hyde Park (ya know, Barack Obama and Farrakhan's hood? Yeah, that Hyde Park).  I chose this place because of the location, it has a great walk score, and because it had elements that I have always loved about my homes.  I love old fixtures and a building that has some history, but it's also very modern with stainless steel and granite everything. It also has something that I've coveted for like eva' - exposed brick. I heart exposed brick.  Don't worry kids - I'll be sure to have virtual housewarming in a few months, and I'll show the place off.

So now I have the place, and I have the date.  All's I gotta do now is just move.

Oh, and party.

I've already mentioned my Rock Kicking Party, but I've decided to do a three part extravaganza that I'm calling Three Times Dope.  It's my birthday party/girls night in/going away party all wrapped into a 3 day event that's sure to give out nothing but good memories and hangovers.  So why the sake bomb?  Part 1 is a private karaoke party at Yakitori Boy. 

mmm sake.  

A Change Gonna Come

Optimism (when life hands you lemons, make lemonade vodka)

2 oz lemonade vodka (brand: Sweet Carolina)

1 oz triple sec

3 oz cranberry juice

Frozen cranberries (get 'em at Whole Foods)

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker over ice.  Boom! Shake shake shake the room

Pour over ice into a Collins glass  

Float three frozen cranberries in the drink.  Helps to keep it cold, and when they thaw, they're fun to squeeze in the drink for an added burst of flavor and color

We interrupt the last post (that I started writing nearly a month ago) to bring you some exciting news:

I. Got. The. Job.

!!!!!

I've been stressing at work lately and have been feeling at my wits end.  One day in particular I was feeling out of sorts and my cell phone rang from a familiar area code.  When the caller said "Alice, I apologize for taking so long to get back to you, but we would like to formally extend you an offer..." I almost wet my pants.  It was the perfect call, at the perfect time, with the perfect opportunity.  Oh and did I mention that in addition to an $11,000 salary bump, I'm also getting a signing bonus to help with my move to Chicago?

Yeah.  Who has 2 thumbs and rocks? [pointing thumbs at self] THIS GIRL!!!!

So I just got back from spending 4 days there apartment shopping, and I've narrowed it down to two awesome places.  I'll be moving in mid March and have already started planning my "bon voyage extravaganza" complete with a "Rock Kicking Party".

You know, because I'm about to kick rocks. 

When life hands you lemons, make a vodka lemonade cooler, and wait for the fruits of your labor to fall upon you.

Hello 2010, how are ya?

Candy Cane Martini

2 oz peppermint schnapps

1 oz vodka

2 oz half and half

Sloe Gin

Combine schnapps, vodka and half and half with ice in a cocktail shaker.  Shake Shake Shake Shake, uh Shake it!

Strain into a martini glass.  Drizzle sloe gin down the side of the glass until it rests at the bottom

Garnish with a mini candy cane (I ate mine before I remembered to take the picture)

So I'm still waiting for something final about Chicago.  Things slowed down during this holiday season, because of vacations, but I'm still extremely optimistic.  In an effort not to jinx it though, I'm not going to go into it right now.

*beep ba deep beep beep ba deep beep*

Breaking news, breaking news!